Gardening

So I have spent the last several days, pulling (more like fighting) weeds, getting rid of rocks, and planting a bajillion flowers and bulbs that will supposedly turn into flowers.  I am all bruised and my hands and nails are a total mess.  I swear to God this better be worth it... If stuff doesn't grow im just planting rocks next year and calling it good.  But i have high hopes for all the lilies and others that i planted.  It should smell like heaven and have tons of bees, butterflies and hummingbirds.  I am super excited at the prospect of hummingbirds.

The nest project is turning the back yard into a rock garden with a water feature and adding a veggie greenhouse.  I am super excited about this and I have been doing lots of homework so that I am well versed on all things garden related. I really want a backyard oasis to hang out and BBQ in.  And also to read and all that fun yards-y stuff!

Friendship-unfettered

So, my last post was about the people I trust and good friends (eventually I want to write something about Brian but I am afraid to bore all zero of you to tears with talk of how much I like him). This post is about how naive and trusting I can be and how it causes me to be hurt and walked on.  I know I am not the only one, I am not trying to sound special or anything, just perceptive from my own experiences.  What made me think of it is today at work an older woman made comment at how since I don't always feel comfortable sending food back at restaurants that I am going to eat bad food.  Now while I grasp the concept, its the tone with which people convey their opinions.  I am no worse for the wear from having a so-so dining experience and I don't feel like I was slighted but I find it odd that people feel the need to project their "if you don't do it my way, you are doing it wrong" mentality.  I don't know that people realize how they are perceived, I am not perfect and I am certain I have hurt someones feelings. But lets all try a teeny bit harder to be less jackass.

I have posted before about lying, seriously just to make it clear DO NOT LIE TO ME.  I have met some people who I thought ooh cool!,  I could be friend with these people only to slowly find out that they have been deceptive about their true personality.  I like people for who they are, not who they pretend they are.  And it bums me out because when people cannot be truthful about the most simple things how can I trust that they will be truthful when life gets sticky.

So, I have gotten better about giving people seventh chances... I am more on the line of allowing third chances now... less painful for me in the long run and I look less stupid.  Some day I shall progress to second chances... the same time I start regularly updating blog posts...

I guess I could go on with a thousand tales of woe and whatnot but meh... It is Friday and Fridays are good.

Friendship

I have never been one of those people who had a bajillion friends.  At any given interval in my life I have had just one close friendship.

• My youngest years I was best friends with a girl much older than me who was my neighbor.  Her name was Jennifer and I adored her.  I looked up to her and as a 3 year old would sneak into her house to try to play with her at all hours. 
• Then there came Traci who was my best friend for as long as I can remember.  She too was older than me by about 6 years and I took on a little sister role to her.  She taught me to ride my bike, to play marbles and to play Nintendo.  We would spend hour playing Nintendo.  She always french braided my hair and taught me to dress nice.  She was very sporty and fashionable.  I was devastated when she hit high school and didn't wanna hang out with me anymore.
• Helen was my neighbor as well. except she was my age.  Her and I explored the world around us.  Riding horses and building forts.  Exploring the attic of her parents business.  I discovered Chinese food and skiing with her.
• Then came Jenni, the loss of her friendship has been the hardest because her and I were kindred spirits.  We are still friendly, just not close anymore.  I blame that on the fact that I moved in high school and when I came back i felt like she had changed.  I am sure we both changed, but I still felt like that same girl who was best friend with Jenni.  My dad called her Blondie and even as I was an adult he would ask me if I had heard from Blondie down the street.  Jenni and I lived about 2 blocks away from each other and there was "our corner" which was where med meet each other half way and head to her house, my house or on whatever adventure we saw fit.  We road bikes everywhere in the summer and spent a lot of time at the swimming pool.  I laughed with her lots.  She was my best friend for so many years.
• Katie was my Georgia angel.  She really made my time there so much better.  And best of all she has a love for Montana so I get to see her and her awesome family when they came for her wedding in Montana and when she and her husband come to visit.  She is a great friend that I still keep in touch with.
• Sean is my comedic relief, I still keep in touch with him even though it maybe go 6 months without a text.  I haven't seen his actual face in 13 years.  I always enjoyed his rounded mature moments.  He is very wise.  Sean is another one who helped me survive Georgia.
• So now comes my current best friend Maggie.  I think when she first met me she thought I was stuck up or insane... she was right about one.  Apparently I give off an air or something... huh... I met her at a first meeting for a burlesque show. Anyway we became fast friends because she is witty and sarcastic and downright honest.  She is a talented little firecracker who has been through rough patches in life with family and men.  She is so talented musically, and as someone who loves music and likes to think themselves a singer, I am in awe of her instrumental prowess.  More so I enjoy her fierce intelligence and witty humor.  One time she was regaling us with a story of some bar dancing moves she had seen and she expertly demonstrated in my kitchen.  Pretend beer and all. The thing I have always struggled with and why I have maintained limited friendships is that I REALLY like to do my own thing and having friends gets in the way usually.  I am quirky and opinionated and sometimes I want to stare at things and think maths and having to devote time to people tends to interfere with that and so I generally don't miss friends when I am not around them.  But Maggie is different. I enjoy her company so much that when she leaves I don't find myself relieved I find myself sad and anticipating the next time we can hang out.  And she is the type of friend I can go weeks or longer without talking to and we pick things up as if less than a minute has passed between us.  I am not saying I didn't enjoy my other friends on this list, but they were at different times in my life... as an adult I have hermited myself and found my zones of comfort which tend to include just Brian and myself.  Maggie and I both lost our fathers and it is something we can both cry over and heal together.  Maggie has always been honest with me when I am being a jackass... she gives me a sanity check.  When I was married and things were rocky, she gave me solace and a place to be angry or sad and crying.  She helped me have the strength to make a decision that would affect and direct my life and career to where I am now.  I don't think I could have done all this without her jump start.  I was at her house texting my hunky awesome man after our first date and I know she saw my giddy head-over-heelness.  I love being able to hang out with her, even in the most awful of tone deaf situations, just hanging out with her makes me happy.  And Brian thinks shes awesome too.  I dunno, Maggie is just awesome.  PLUS, she has cats.

Faithful Followers

All zero of you....

If i ever hoped to glean some sort of blogging success I should have know better by the sheer fact that I cannot keep up a regular blogging schedule.  Once every two years doesn't seem to cut it.. for some odd reason.  I could do regular updates but again the only one who ever would read them is me.

This post is going to be painful to get done... I am sitting here eating siracha peas contemplating something of interest to dangle before all zero of my followers to keep them deeply engrossed until the next post 2 years from now.


... that's it.. that is all I have for now... This is why I will never be a "blogger'.