I have no idea where this post will end up. I just have a feeling and I thought I'd start writing about it. I probably won't be funny, but usually when I am funny it is not purposeful so I suppose an occasional moment may present itself.
Am I being punished for lying as a teenager? I freaking feel like it. I am probably the most easy-going, laid back, nonjudgmental human EVER. We all make mistakes, we all have our "moments". What I don't get is why people continue to lie to me after I tell them again and again and again and again... that all I care about is honestly.
You killed my Teddy Ruxpin? Know what? I forgive you. I am not even mad... UNLESS you LIE to me about it. Now I am all of a sudden so pissed off... ok here is the thing. I am not even pissed. I am hurt, really really hurt. I makes me go through all sorts of emotions, but truthfully the one I settled on is "so what you're telling me is I am not good enough and do not mean enough to you to be given the truth". That hurts my heart. Overdramatic? Eh... probably, but no matter how many moments of lying to my face I encounter and no matter how hard I try to feel less about the situation, I.JUST.CAN'T. And the degree of the lie gets the same reaction.
The kicker is I have a damn UNCANNY ability to spot a lie, that and I think I have my mothers gift of always catching people doing things they're not supposed to be doing. It is NOT as cool as it sounds. NOT AT FREAKING ALL.
I have pretty much given up on really trusting people. I just gauge them on a healthy scale of truth/lie ratio and likeliness of truth/lie ratio. Yep, I have issues. Lets save that for a different blog.
So I have a mental list of sorts. Or I think I started it a couple years ago. It is loosely titles how likely are you to lie to my face. Zero would be zero likely, as in you are awesome and I love you because you'll give me the truth no matter how ugly.
I originally was going to spill the beans on the amount of humans in that zero spot but it made me sound so untrusty, so I totally deleted that sentence.
Anywhoo, I think that is all.
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